Category: Julie

The Guilt List

Hey, folks.

Just so you know, writing this blog has been on my list of “things to do” for awhile now.  I’ve been mulling it over and over, and finally realized it’s time to write so I can move it from the “to do” list to the “to done” list.  Not to be confused with the “kids’ activity” list or the “grocery” list or the “fix it” list or the “stuff we need for camping this weekend” list.  Oh, and I can’t forget the “honey-do” list my really sweet husband left for me or the “housework” list or the list of “people I need to send cards to”.

Before you think I’m a freak, I don’t actually have all of these lists written out and hanging on the fridge as a constant reminder of things I have yet to do.  It’s just that these lists are constantly running through my mind of what needs to get done.  I know I’m not the only one out there who does this….am I?  Isn’t this just the way it is when you’re a parent?  Mile long lists of things to feel guilty about not doing yet?  Does it have to be this way?

Just say NO, people!  It’s time to make lists of things you’ve actually done throughout the day.  Things that you’re proud of accomplishing.  Trade that “guilt list” of to-do’s into a victory list of “look what I’ve done”!  For instance, I never made it to the jewelry repair shop to drop off my husband’s watch, but I walked to the park with my little girl and had a picnic.  (This wasn’t on any list, but it should’ve been.)  She had a blast laying on our blanket with me and looking up at the underside of the trees.

I haven’t touched up the paint on our kitchen cabinets, but I did fold and put up 3 loads of laundry.  Yay, me!  I haven’t mailed out the family group photos to my aunts and cousins yet (from July), but I did meet with a friend to plan the teacher appreciation luncheon we’re in charge of for the school.  See what I mean?  It’s so easy to feel guilty about the things you haven’t done, when you’ve already done so much.

I, for one, am not going to feel guilty about not washing the sheets today, because  I have a clean kitchen.  I will let go of the fact that my browning bananas haven’t been made into banana bread.  I am going to throw them away and not feel an ounce of guilt, because my back door window has been wiped clean of fingerprints.

At this very moment, my daughter is sleeping and I will not once think about all the things I was going to do while she’s taking a nap.   Like finish her first year scrapbook, paint a growth chart to hang in her room, register my 8 year old for guitar lessons, figure out how to teach my oldest to type with homerow keys, call my mom, take a shower and put on makeup….No!  I will not dwell on that list.  Instead, I will think about the good I have done today.  I sent my boys off to school with smiles on their faces.  I made them a great sack lunch.  I hugged my husband before he left for work.  I swept the kitchen floor.  I taught my daughter that clouds are the color white (our color of the day).

So let’s start a revolution!  No more guilt over those crazy lists.  Look at what you’ve done and be proud.  Make that “victory list” and hang it on the refrigerator.  Just don’t feel guilty if you never get around to it.

And then….

Having just read April’s post about the beginnings of her friendships with me and Misty, I just had to give you the rest of the story.  April and I lived near each other for over three years, and during that time we grew as close as sisters.  April’s life is in every sense of the word, a three ring circus.  Add to that Misty’s frequent visits from the east coast, and life really got exciting.  We also had our friend, Maureen, who is my winner of “the Mom of the Year who also doesn’t take herself too seriously” award.  It was such a sweet time in my life, and then I moved.

Moved because of my husband’s job.  Moved because I knew my husband would regret it if we didn’t.  Moved because I felt like God had opened some really heavy doors.  Moved because I love my husband.

As you can probably tell, I didn’t want to leave Florida.  I had incredible friends, a great church, a fulfilling job, a paradise-inspired neighborhood, and was within a day’s drive of my parents.  But you know what I have come to discover (and try to remind myself of frequently)?  The “and thens…” of life are often what you end up counting as some of your greatest blessings.

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now we have our surprise blessing.”  A few months after moving, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our sweet daughter.  We had prayed for her for years.  Since both of our boys were born in Albuquerque, NM, my husband and I had to ask ourselves, “Are we only fertile in high altitude?” (We live in the Rocky Mountain area.)

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now I get to focus on my husband and children and not my social circle.”

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now we get to live in and explore a beautiful part of our country.”

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now I know what it means to bloom where you’re planted.”

I could go on and on about how the sadness turned into joy.  Of course, I have my days when I miss April’s circus acts, Misty’s smarty pants comments, and Maureen’s hilarious kitchen get-togethers.  But then I just remind myself  that I’m moving in a year or two.  And then…

The Beginnings (Part Two)…

Fast forward 10 years or so to when Julie and I crossed paths. We were both new to Florida. Julie was already friends with Maureen, my new neighbor and soon to be BFF (yes…I stand by the belief that you can have more than one BFF!). Maureen and I were headed to the pool in our neighborhood, already in the stage where we had loaded up small children and tons of gear and had actually made it all the way to the pool parking lot before one of Florida’s legendary “chunky” rainstorms begins.

 

Julie is rushing out of the pool area now with her boys and runs into us. Maureen quickly introduces us and I invite Julie to join us at my house so we can let the kids play together at least. She gives Maureen the, “Who is this woman I just met inviting me to her [messy…she would discover] house?” After Maureen gives her the “She’s OK” nod, we head to my house and start getting to know each other. You know…details like how Maureen never yells at her kids, I yell at mine too much, and Julie falls into the happy medium. Until the “Crazy Momma” scream just has to come out.

My friendship with Julie was really cemented when she approached me shortly after and said that God had placed it on her heart to begin a Bible study. She was prepared to administrate all the details, but she needed a facilitator. Viola….I am a facilitator AND a horrible administrator. It was a match made in heaven…literally. 🙂  Of course, Julie thought she needed a facilitator because God couldn’t possibly be implying that she should teach as well….WRONG. Julie and I both ended up facilitating a YMCA Bible Study group. Absolutely one of the best honors of my life, to be a part of something that had God’s hand all over it. Thank you Julie for your obedience in beginning a good work. He was and continues to be faithful to complete it!

I love Julie and you will too. She has a heart that loves God and her family with passion. She is my go-to-counselor in life, always full of wise advise and fresh ways of looking at life. Thanks, Jules for helping to keep me sane….or at least close enough that I can fool almost everyone. 🙂