Category: Friends

Unraveling

Sometimes it is when you least expect it that life throws a curve ball. That happened this last month. I have a close friend who is experiencing a major life curve ball, the kind of ball that hits the batter, then the umpire, then the catcher and somehow bounces off the catcher and hits anyone left within range. Sort of like that Seinfeld episode, The Spit Heard ‘Round the World.” (Honestly, if you don’t like Seinfeld….I just don’t know if we can be friends…I make way too many Seinfeld references!)

The sad thing is the result of this curve ball is that my friend’s marriage and family are unraveling. The other sad thing is that we all have someone we know whose experiencing the same thing, it may even be you. I will never forget the day my world started unraveling. I had someone very close to me come and tell me my then husband had cheated on me…with her. My whole world stopped, except I still felt like I was trapped on one of those horrible carnival rides that wouldn’t stop spinning, leaving me sick to my stomach. Learning about what had happened was only the beginning of a landslide as well.

I’ve talked with enough women to know that I am not alone. Lives…marriages…families… shatter every day. I can say with confidence though that God had me in the palm of his hand even when everything was falling apart. He had blessed me with the best friends a girl could have – one who would get on an airplane and fly across the country without even knowing why she had to (thank you Misty) and others who came over and literally picked me up and prayed God’s word over my life. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived that time without God and His provision of my friends.

I often wonder how women endure these kinds of blows in their lives without Jesus, our Comforter and Healer. Even those of us who know and love the Lord can experience a crisis of faith during this time. My faith was definitely rocked, but God’s love for me was steady and sure. In the end, I had to decide, do I…

(1) Throw my entire faith away?  Because, let’s face it, if God would allow this to happen to my family, do I even want to know Him, let alone worship Him?; OR

(2) Continue to walk in faith, even without seeing or understanding? Do I decide that ‘Yes, there still is a God’ and ‘Yes, I still trust Him’ even though life has unexpected, painful twists.

By God’s grace, I chose the latter and He has proved time and time again that He loves me and has wrote a plan that will take the ugliest stuff and turn it into something that will bring Him glory.

If someone you know is going through this right now, come alongside of them. Be open to the Holy Spirit and whatever he asks of you.  Sometimes you are needed to help pick up the broken pieces of a shattered life. Sometimes you are needed to speak the truth in love into their life. Sometimes you are needed to [….insert whatever He tells you to do.]

In the beginning of this post I was referring to the unraveling of a life. When I think of that I see a piece of yarn being pulled from a completed work. At some point the unraveling stops and that is when, if we let Him, God goes in and completes a new work that doesn’t even compare with the first version. Hmm…am I going to let God create a new masterpiece in me?? You betcha’.

Frozen peas….upside a head.

First, let me start by saying that I just read Julie and April’s posts about how we all met and I should just tell you that it’s all true, but they left out a LOT of details. I’m a details kind of girl, just ask April who doesn’t remember what happened 5 minutes ago. But, for the sake of a “short” blog, I won’t go into those details. I will tell you that you should be jealous of these friendships though, because we are kind of awesome. The kind of awesome that needs its own Lifetime movie. What are you waiting for Lifetime? Make a movie about us already.

Did anybody notice we are Christians? Uh-oh. Don’t worry, we’re not whack-a-doodles who handle snakes and drink kool-aid with special night-night pills inside. But I would say we are card-carrying lovers of Jesus. And that’s all the preaching I will do. I just mention the Christian part because, well, just like all people…we still have our issues. And sometimes, people want to relate those issues with the fact that we’re crazy Christians. When in fact, we’re just plain crazy. For example: let’s say some of us have more than 2 children. Like I don’t know, me. And let’s say that you’re in a grocery store with 3 children and you’re pregnant with your 4th and people feel the need to explain to you that you have too many children and what you should do about it. Here are some things you might hear:

“Do you know what causes that?”

“Wow, you’ve got your hands full!”

“All girls? I hope you’re having a boy this time!”

“You’re done after this one, right?”

Let me assure you that I have answers for all of these questions, and almost none of them have anything to do with Jesus. I am not Michelle Duggar, nor do I want to be (God bless her ovaries). And my husband and I are not trying to “be fruitful and mulitply” or start an Army for God. We are normal people. I don’t know when this world started hating kids, or thinking that there was something wrong with the people who had more than 2.1 children, but it is HELLA annoying when people assume you are retarded, or that you are a nut job with a Bible, and need education on how to NOT have any more kids. I’m sorry, did I ask you? Do I know what causes that? Sure. Do you know what causes this bag of frozen peas to land upside your head? Yeah, it’s cause and effect. I love my husband, he’s kind of hot and we have a pretty friendly disposition towards each other when it comes to the bedroom. Sometimes that equals: babies. You are stupid and rude and sometimes that equals: you getting hurt by frozen peas. See how that works? I’ve got my hands full? Duh. Thanks for noticing, Captain Obvious. You hope I’m having a boy this time? Wow, I didn’t know we were living in China. Hey, and thanks for saying that in front of my daughters. I don’t want them thinking they’re special in any way.

Here’s my point: I’m tired of stupid people. And not just the stupid people at the grocery store either. I’m looking at you Katy Perry with your stupid song about Last Friday Night. Two words for you: sell out. Seriously, I wonder how you sleep at night peddling your crap-lyrics to girls across the nation. And Lady GaGa who is about as originial as  Milli Vanilli. Way to use sex appeal like you’re the first person to think of it. You are not as cool as you think you are! Okay, okay, now I’m just being mean. Don’t take me too seriously though, unless of course you trust the opinion of a woman who voted for Sanjaya on American Idol. (I stand by those votes…he had a freaking pony-hawk, people! A pony-hawk!)

But you get it, right? Get what, you say? Good question. God bless us, one and all. Especially the one’s who need frozen peas upside their precious heads.

And then….

Having just read April’s post about the beginnings of her friendships with me and Misty, I just had to give you the rest of the story.  April and I lived near each other for over three years, and during that time we grew as close as sisters.  April’s life is in every sense of the word, a three ring circus.  Add to that Misty’s frequent visits from the east coast, and life really got exciting.  We also had our friend, Maureen, who is my winner of “the Mom of the Year who also doesn’t take herself too seriously” award.  It was such a sweet time in my life, and then I moved.

Moved because of my husband’s job.  Moved because I knew my husband would regret it if we didn’t.  Moved because I felt like God had opened some really heavy doors.  Moved because I love my husband.

As you can probably tell, I didn’t want to leave Florida.  I had incredible friends, a great church, a fulfilling job, a paradise-inspired neighborhood, and was within a day’s drive of my parents.  But you know what I have come to discover (and try to remind myself of frequently)?  The “and thens…” of life are often what you end up counting as some of your greatest blessings.

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now we have our surprise blessing.”  A few months after moving, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our sweet daughter.  We had prayed for her for years.  Since both of our boys were born in Albuquerque, NM, my husband and I had to ask ourselves, “Are we only fertile in high altitude?” (We live in the Rocky Mountain area.)

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now I get to focus on my husband and children and not my social circle.”

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now we get to live in and explore a beautiful part of our country.”

“And then I moved”….turned into “and now I know what it means to bloom where you’re planted.”

I could go on and on about how the sadness turned into joy.  Of course, I have my days when I miss April’s circus acts, Misty’s smarty pants comments, and Maureen’s hilarious kitchen get-togethers.  But then I just remind myself  that I’m moving in a year or two.  And then…