April - April Chapman

Category: April

14
Jan
2012

Total Lack Of Awareness

Sometimes I surprise myself with my total lack of awareness (in a bad way, of course.) Right now, I am sitting on a plane trying to get back to Phoenix because I missed my earlier connection. I made it out of Chicago even though it was snowing there, to get to Kansas City, but then I didn’t realize I was at the wrong “Phoenix” gate. Sucks! I wanted to be home for the evening, not rerouted through Vegas and three hours late.

Apparently my actual plane took off while I was sitting in this tiny, airport, and I missed it. Ugh!! I have to ask myself what is God trying to teach me?? Pretty sure it’s DILIGENT preparation. I’ve been researching and booking a lot of flights this week and my brain eventually gets them all disordered. I need a better system then my memory.

If I just would have done a double check when it felt like I shouldn’t have a long layover, all this would have been avoided. Okay, I’m done beating myself up over it….probably.

Let’s change the topic…how about I focus on something that, not only doesn’t frustrate me, but also brought me great joy. Last Sunday, Daisy’s Sunday School class didn’t have a teacher, so she headed into the service with Daniel and I. She’s 7, almost too big to sit on my lap, but she still does. I love that!

She’s also little enough to stand on the chairs when we sing so she can see the words. While she was standing up there with one arm around me, the next song started, Our God Is Greater by Chris Tomlin, which just so happens to be Daisy’s favorite song. She raises up her other hand in praise and sings at the top of her lungs. Oh…how I love that girl!! No fear, just love. This is what Jesus meant when he said, “But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” (Matthew 19:14)

Lord, help me to be more childlike in my faith and love of you….and help me to be more adult in my organizational skills so I don’t miss my flights. 🙂

30
Dec
2011

Word For The Year

categories: April, Holidays

We have another tradition in our family that was passed down from the Knotts family, who got it from the Paige family and every year that we do this, another family joins us. It’s such a great idea!!

All right…here is how it goes. Everyone in the family is responsible for picking their personal “Word for the Year.” It needs to be something that we really want to work on and develop in ourselves over the next year. You can’t achieve a goal you never set, right?!

Once we have chosen our words, everyone then decorates a page that has their word on it. We then place all of these on the fridge or somewhere else where everyone will see it throughout the year as a reminder. I love these pages too, because I keep them year after year so I can make a scrapbook of our words.

Last year we also chose one family word that we wanted to work on as well.

I’ll give you a run down on the last 3 years word choices for myself. In 2009, I chose DISCIPLINE. This one was two-fold. I wanted to be more disciplined in my work. That year I was able to start my own business and I truly did discipline myself to work harder than I ever had before, with much success. I also chose DISCIPLINE because I wanted to focus on following through on disciplining the girls. (That part still needs more help!)

In 2010, I chose the word HOPE. I was really feeling worn down and knew we needed change and I needed to have HOPE that things could change. That year I was able to win a huge court battle to leave the state of Florida and move to live near family in Arizona. Daniel and I also ended up getting engaged. HOPE renewed!!

In 2011, I chose the word BALANCE. As a single mom working two jobs, it’s very hard to achieve balance. I believe much of the credit for this word coming to fruition is because of Daniel. He brings much needed balance into my life. I’m not staying up until 2:00am working every night. (Yes…I recognize the irony in me writing this…because it is 2am right now, but the point is that it isn’t EVERY night.)

The biggest balancing though comes from the fact that I don’t feel like the weight of every decision is on my shoulders anymore. I have a partner who helps carry the weight and even shoulders it all sometimes so I can get a break. I’m a very lucky woman.

I haven’t yet decided on my word for 2012, I’m still praying about it but I know God will plant a word in my heart. There are plenty of areas to choose from that need improvement, I can guarantee that! I’ll let you know once I pick my word. In the meantime, consider starting this tradition in your family. You won’t regret it!

28
Dec
2011

Christmas 2011

categories: April, Cooking, Holidays

Christmas was like all the pieces of a picture coming together. This was Daniel and my first Christmas as a married couple. We also had all the girls for Christmas Day, which meant that we actually celebrated Christmas as a nuclear family. It’s been six years since that happened in our family and Daisy is 7 years old, if that gives you any perspective.

It’s not that we didn’t have nice Christmas’ during that time, but it sure was nice having someone to share the day’s responsibilities and joys. We only get Ainsley and Daisy every other year. I’m so glad that our first Christmas as a family fell on a year when we did have them.

Thinking back on the years, I’ve been so blessed to have friends who filled in the gaps for us. My friend Jen always invited us over for an Italian style Christmas dinner. We were incorporated into their family, which helped because who really wants to make a big Christmas dinner for little girls who don’t eat much.

This year, Daniel, my awesome husband and wonderful chef, headed up the kitchen and treated us to a delectable dinner. We had over 25 people here, including family and friends, who also pitched in. It was a true Christmas feast!

We were also able to continue the Christmas traditions I started with the girls when they were tiny. We went to Christmas Eve service, came home and let the girls open one Christmas gift. This gift is always pajamas to ward off disappointment at choosing the socks/underwear box AND because this way, I know they will look cute the next morning. Then we read ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas….although this year we listened to it via YouTube since I couldn’t find my book. (I assure you…typical “April”)

When the kids were smaller I also used to give them hot chocolate and put them in the car to go look at Christmas lights right before bed. This works like a dream, because warm milk and driving in a car put all little ones to sleep. 🙂

Of course, there were still some surprises for us on Christmas. For instance, this snake Jerilyn managed to catch. It’s her new best friend. I know many of you would have been shocked to see your child with this…for us, it’s just another day with Jerilyn. 🙂

I know that this is just the beginning for our new family and I am so excited to make new Christmas memories in the years to come. Merry Christmas all!!

04
Dec
2011

Phoenician Phamily Phinally….hehe

categories: April

Daniel FINALLY lives in the same state with us! Daniel and I just finished our drive from Florida to Arizona. This is how I know that I married the right man….we didn’t have a single fight during four days of driving. 🙂 Okay, this is just one reason I know I married the right guy (this time around!)

We spent Thanksgiving with his family in Jacksonville and then we left Florida on Black Friday. The first night we stopped in Pascagoula, Mississippi to see my Aunt Laurie and Uncle John. They are a hoot! Always have been, always will be.

I spent many a summer in Pascagoula, Mississippi. My dad was raised there and it is where he and my mom met. I was born inPascagoula, but we moved to California when I was two years old. I guess Mississippi is in my blood (as much as I may deny it) because it only takes a short time for me to start talking with an accent.

My dad has eight siblings and I have over 25 first cousins on that side of the family. I was the second oldest grandchild, which meant lots of babysitting while I was there. I do have to say that we had some great times though, just being kids, in the middle of the sticky, mugginess of the summer days.

After Mississippi, Daniel and I drove (I mean Daniel drove…I did zero, zip, nada of the driving the entire way), on to San Antonio. Stopping along the way at Boudin King in Louisiana for the best poboys anywhere. Next night we made it just outside of Texas into New Mexico. Lord have mercy….Texas is huge and mostly empty. 🙂

We made it from New Mexico to Phoenix and now we are staying put for a little while. Daniel is finally here with us. We are so excited to actually be able to live together! See…we are phinally a Phoenician phamily. 🙂

28
Nov
2011

Unraveling

categories: April, Friends, God

Sometimes it is when you least expect it that life throws a curve ball. That happened this last month. I have a close friend who is experiencing a major life curve ball, the kind of ball that hits the batter, then the umpire, then the catcher and somehow bounces off the catcher and hits anyone left within range. Sort of like that Seinfeld episode, The Spit Heard ‘Round the World.” (Honestly, if you don’t like Seinfeld….I just don’t know if we can be friends…I make way too many Seinfeld references!)

The sad thing is the result of this curve ball is that my friend’s marriage and family are unraveling. The other sad thing is that we all have someone we know whose experiencing the same thing, it may even be you. I will never forget the day my world started unraveling. I had someone very close to me come and tell me my then husband had cheated on me…with her. My whole world stopped, except I still felt like I was trapped on one of those horrible carnival rides that wouldn’t stop spinning, leaving me sick to my stomach. Learning about what had happened was only the beginning of a landslide as well.

I’ve talked with enough women to know that I am not alone. Lives…marriages…families… shatter every day. I can say with confidence though that God had me in the palm of his hand even when everything was falling apart. He had blessed me with the best friends a girl could have – one who would get on an airplane and fly across the country without even knowing why she had to (thank you Misty) and others who came over and literally picked me up and prayed God’s word over my life. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived that time without God and His provision of my friends.

I often wonder how women endure these kinds of blows in their lives without Jesus, our Comforter and Healer. Even those of us who know and love the Lord can experience a crisis of faith during this time. My faith was definitely rocked, but God’s love for me was steady and sure. In the end, I had to decide, do I…

(1) Throw my entire faith away? Because, let’s face it, if God would allow this to happen to my family, do I even want to know Him, let alone worship Him?; OR

(2) Continue to walk in faith, even without seeing or understanding? Do I decide that ‘Yes, there still is a God’ and ‘Yes, I still trust Him’ even though life has unexpected, painful twists.

By God’s grace, I chose the latter and He has proved time and time again that He loves me and has wrote a plan that will take the ugliest stuff and turn it into something that will bring Him glory.

If someone you know is going through this right now, come alongside of them. Be open to the Holy Spirit and whatever he asks of you. Sometimes you are needed to help pick up the broken pieces of a shattered life. Sometimes you are needed to speak the truth in love into their life. Sometimes you are needed to [….insert whatever He tells you to do.]

In the beginning of this post I was referring to the unraveling of a life. When I think of that I see a piece of yarn being pulled from a completed work. At some point the unraveling stops and that is when, if we let Him, God goes in and completes a new work that doesn’t even compare with the first version. Hmm…am I going to let God create a new masterpiece in me?? You betcha’.

12
Oct
2011

A Tribute To My Beautiful Daughter

categories: April, Kids

Where has the time gone? Has it really been 10 years today since they placed my beautiful baby in my arms? My sweet Ainsley…I loved her instantly, fully and completely the first moment I saw her. There is a special thing that happens when you have your first child…I think it is because a baby is born at the same time a mother is born.

I feel beyond blessed to be the mother of this precious girl. A girl who teaches me as much as I try to teach her.

The girls are always giving me acrostic name poems, so I’ve decided to write one up for Ainsley. Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

Amicable – She is friendly. I am proud of the friend she is and the friends she wants to surround herself with. I know she will make wise choices which is so very important as she grows into a young woman.

Imaginative – Ainsley is an avid reader, writer of great stories, and illustrator. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a published author one day. She is rarely the child who comes up to me and tells me she is bored, she can always find something to do.

Night Owl – Ainsley has always been my night owl (she comes by it honestly as I type this at 1:00 AM) and snuggle bug.

Spiritual – She has a deep love for God and is a bold witness for Him, often inviting friends to church or teaching them stories from the Bible. God uses her over and over again and it inspires me. She wants to be Esther for Halloween this year, her very favorite person in the Bible, and she will be a perfect Esther because she shares many things in common with her.

Laughter – Ainsley loves telling jokes and being a jokester. She makes us laugh and lightens the load. An Ainsley Original – “Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?…He didn’t have any guts.”

Encourager/Teacher – Ainsley has a teaching heart. She likes to play school, but she has a natural talent for teaching others. I remember overhearing her read a story to Daisy, but she would stop along the way and let Daisy read the parts she remembered and then say something encouraging like “Great Job, Daisy…see, you’re reading!”

Yummy – Ainsley loves cooking and the cooking channel is one of her favorites. She even had a Rachel Ray birthday party a few years ago. She doesn’t know for sure, but she thinks she may want to be a baker when she grows up (or a teacher, or a missionary, or a vet…she’s keeping her options open. J )

There are a lot of times in our family where I have called on Ainsley to be the bigger person (even as a little person still) and she, more often than not, rises to the challenge. It’s not easy having a special needs sister and life doesn’t usually equal “fair” around here, but I have always felt especially blessed that Ainsley was Jerilyn’s sister. Her willingness to be a peacemaker and give allowances to her sister has been such a Godsend. God knew we needed an “Ainsley” in this family and I am sooooo joyful she’s ours.

18
Sep
2011

Our “UN-Pleasant” Nightmare

categories: April, Funny, Kids, Mothering

This was one of those days that I would not want to relive, BUT….I promised this post, so here it goes.

Daisy’s 7^th birthday party was two weeks ago. Last year we had only recently moved to Phoenix before her 6^th birthday, so we didn’t have a lot of friends to invite. This time I wanted to make sure we had kids at the party, and due to the fact that it was Labor Day weekend I decided to over-invite, thinking some would be heading out of town. Wrong! Twelve girls later, plus Ainsley and Daisy….you could say my house was a 3-ring circus.

If you have been reading my posts than you are already aware that Jerilyn came home on Friday night after a 3 week stay in the hospital. Due to the fact that (A) I thought such a large group of girls screaming around the house would set off her sensory alarms, and (B) that “hello”…she had had lice at the hospital and I had basically de-liced and quarantined her before all the masses descended for the party; I needed another plan for her Saturday.

We had a plan set, or so I thought. My dad and brother, Paul, were planning to take Jerilyn and the boys (our boy cousins) out to see Captain America while we had the party. Fast forward to the party now, people are starting to arrive and my dad, who went to run an errand is still not back. Now, I am starting to stress because Jerilyn needed to already be gone, so we don’t have new transition issues and/or her blurting out anything remotely related to lice.

My dad now arrives and tells us that he has rented a jet ski for the day and that they are taking the kids (all 5 now) up to “Pleasant” Lake. I can tell you, from that moment, I knew the day was going to be a disaster. You don’t just take kids on a day outing like that without some planning involved….I know that, and I’m not even a “planner” type.

So now, my sister-in-law Vicki has to help get kids dressed and ready for the trip and I’m quite sure is thinking that she’d rather be going with them now, instead of helping me manage the 14 girls that have filled the house. I’m also aware that now, after we finish 3 hours of hectic party-ness, we are going to have to pile in the car and head up to Pleasant Lake.

The party went great, but as soon as the door closes with the last girl gone, we start scrambling to get out as well. By the time we are on the road we have been informed by my very frustrated brother that they are up there at some marina and there is no place for the kids to get in the water, so they are having to wait in 110 degree temps for their turn on the jet ski. Can we say disaster?? Can I say…“I told you so.”

Oh, and Jerilyn is not cooperating. Really? A kid with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and ADHD is not patiently waiting in the desert heat for her turn on the jet ski?? Shocking. In case the sarcasm is not clue enough…I was pretty pissed that they had put her in this position literally hours after coming home from the hospital where our focus was on stabilizing her.

*Break* (For those of you who don’t know my dad, he is one of the best dads/papas on the planet and his heart was in the right place. He wanted to have a fun day with the kids, even if his ability to anticipate how this would inevitably go down was way off.)

Alright, so back to my diatribe. Vicki, Daisy, Ainsley and I are now on our way up there. Two hours later, after our GPS taking us the wrong way, we arrive at Pleasant Lake. They aren’t there. Nope…apparently my dad is not at the state park that has places to jet-ski and to swim. He is at some Private Marina 4 miles down the road. I didn’t even ask him how he got in there.

We call to let them know we have found the place and they then inform us that the jet-ski is now broken. So…let’s get this right. We’ve got children (and at least one adult) breaking down all over the place and now the jet-ski is joining the crowd. Seriously, I just wanted to turn the van back around and throw as many kids in the back as we could, go home and stop this day from getting any worse. Alas, that was not in the cards.

Vicki and I decide to take the kids to the actual Pleasant Lake and let them at least get in the water. We get over there finally, and the kids get in the water, but Jerilyn has reached her limit and we are going to need to come up with an exit plan fairly soon.

To make this long story, just a little shorter, I’ll just say that the day also included a missing gas cap and my dad’s idea of a fix (just stuff a plastic glove over it) and one last ride on the jet-ski that included getting a ticket for driving too fast. Oh…it was a doozy of a day. Definitely the kind of day that requires me to sit down with a beer or glass of wine or whatever I can get my hands on and try as hard as I can to forget it.

In order to end on a high note, I will tell you my one piece of “pleasant” news though. Lice was conquered! Thank God!!!!!!!

06
Sep
2011

Jerilyn’s Home, But She Wasn’t Alone….

categories: April

Well, Jerilyn was ready to come home on Friday (at least according to our insurance company). They took her one-on-one aid off on Wednesday and she did fairly well participating with the groups. Unfortunately, to add to our list of diagnoses we now have Bipolar. This has been a tough pill to swallow…on one hand, if she is on the right meds they can really help level out her moods, on the other hand, this will be a life-long struggle for her…and us.

You may have noticed that I wasn’t blogging a whole lot last week…now I’m going to let you in on the new crisis that took my attention and then you can all feel REALLY sorry for me. When I went for visitation with Jerilyn last Monday she was itching her head and guess what I discovered….yep….LICE. Ugh!! When I mentioned that I could stay and help treat her hair….the nurses jumped on that faster than….well, faster than lice spreads to an entire wing of children.

That’s when my night turns from bad to OMG Horrible. They said they’d order the shampoo and have it sent up. I told them I would go grab something to eat and pick up a movie for Jerilyn to watch while I went through her hair. I know I need a movie because, unfortunately, lice has been my nemesis this year. Six months ago there was an outbreak at Ainsley and Daisy’s school that would not die!!! I probably spent 4 weekends having to go through every strand of their hair. I HATE LICE!! In fact my head started itching right now just with the thought of it. I know you just started itching too, but I’m fairly certain that you can’t get them just from reading about them…but don’t quote me on it….they are sneaky little blood suckers!

Anyway, so after leaving and getting lost approximately three times in a very bad part of town, eating at a McDonald’s where I had to hold my breath when standing in line because the people around me stunk so bad, and then finally making it back to the hospital I find out three things:

They haven’t shampooed Jerilyn’s hair yet….like I asked them to.
The main area which has the TV now also has children on cots sleeping there with the lights turned down low.
Jerilyn has been given her night meds and is totally out.

I go to talk to Mr. Nurse who acts like I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about when I tell him that HELLO…we have to have good lighting and that it’s going to take 1 ½ – 2 hours to pick through her head. He tells me it won’t take long…really?? Sure…in your world….where you shampoo a kid’s head, take a quick glance, and send him home for his parents to really deal with it. I have two other girls and I am NOT bringing this back into my home!!!

Luckily, there was ONE nurse that night who understood. Why? Because she was a mother of a daughter who had it before, of course. She helped me go through Jerilyn’s hair and tried to make her as comfortable as possible. And boy did I feel for her the next day when I went for visitation…every kid on the wing had lice and she had endless heads to pick through.

When they told me on Thursday that Jerilyn would be released on Friday you’ve got to believe I had an Anti-Lice Plan in place. I stripped that girl in the garage and put the shampoo on her head again. Everything that came home is getting thrown away, washed on “sanitary” cycle or burned. In the name of Jesus….Lice be gone!! LOL

30
Aug
2011

Difficult Visit Tonight

categories: Adoption, April

Tonight was especially difficult when I went to visit Jerilyn, but not because of Jerilyn…she is actually doing really well. It looks like she will be coming home this week sometime. Keep the prayers coming!!

The difficulty came from one particular 9-year-old boy named Justin that I have become particularly fond of. He seems to have such a sweet spirit about him, but he is one of the kids that never has anyone visiting him. I’ve wondered why he remains on the wing, when he doesn’t seem to struggle the way many others there do.

I got the answer tonight, he told me that they were getting him a new family because his old family was abusing him. He then said he wanted to be in my family. Luckily I was able to hold back the tears until after I left. Can you imagine being 9-years-old and all alone in this world already??

I reassured him that he was an easy boy to love and that I had already been praying for him and would continue to do so. When I left tonight many of the other children heard me say that I would be praying for Jerilyn and for

him and they started coming up and asking if I would pray for them too.

Please join me in praying for these children and Justin, in particular, that they would find a forever family for him that would love him and show him that God loves him passionately.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18:15-17

29
Aug
2011

Funny Daisy Quote…

categories: April, Funny, Kids

After waking up in the middle of the night again with growing pains in her right leg… “I don’t understand Mommy….why is it always this leg?…. And why isn’t this leg longer than my other one by now?”

You gotta keep your sense of humor….

(In case you don’t know, Daisy is my soon-to-be 7 year old. She’s already calling herself 7, so I might as well too.)